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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853441">Hooligans on the Highway</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valverbek/pseuds/Valverbek'>Valverbek</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Vacation [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Adventure Time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Pointless fun, Sexual Humor, Shameless Self-Indulgence, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:48:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valverbek/pseuds/Valverbek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Finn's 21st birthday. To kick it off, Jake, Bonnie, Marceline, and all his other friends take him on a road trip to Las Vegas. It's anything but smooth sailing from here. Teen and up for swearing, mentions of alcohol, and sexual references.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Earl of Lemongrab/Lumpy Space Princess, Finn the Human/Flame Princess, Jake the Dog/Lady Rainicorn, Peppermint Butler/Braco, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Vacation [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194809</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Viva Las Vegas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Marceline whistled as she eyed Bonnie’s van. It didn’t have a single scratch on the paint, no dings, no dents or anything. Not even </span>
  <em>
    <span>sun</span>
  </em>
  <span> damage got to it. No one would ever know it was seven years old. With it filled to the brim with duffle bags, suitcases, lunchboxes, and about a dozen pillows and blankets, it looked like something out of a camping commercial. She approached the ride, swinging her bass beside her by the neck. She skirted around to the other side of it to find Finn and Jake. The two goons took turns trying to cram the last of the luggage in the trunk, debating over which technique to use. Marceline smirked. All this junk for what? A three day trip? She couldn’t imagine what it would look like on one for two </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, it’s all in the shoulder, bro! See, watch!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake plunged his head and right shoulder into the closest suitcase. He gritted his teeth, huffing and grunting. The wheels and fabric groaned from the contact. Jake struggled until his face turned purple, but none of the luggage moved an inch. He staggered back, trying (and failing) to hide the fact that he was winded. Finn shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, man. You have to use your hands!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn shoved Jake aside and planted both hands on a particularly fat, pink duffle bag taking up a solid quarter of the trunk. Marceline smiled. Wonder who </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>belonged to. Finn puffed his cheeks. The bag shrunk in size a tiny bit. Finn’s feet slid on the dirt as he strained harder and harder. He made about another millimeter of space by warping the shape of the bag. Satisfied, Finn whirled back around, gesturing with pride at his attempt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah! See?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake clucked his tongue, unimpressed. Marceline slung her bass over her shoulder and walked up to the trunk. She rubbed her chin, doing her best to look like she was sizing up the pile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh—this gives me an idea. Hang on. Hold this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline fished out the pink duffle bag and set it in Finn’s arms. She took out a suitcase.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She plopped it on top of the duffle bag. Finn’s torso jerked from the unexpected weight. She grabbed a lunchbox.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oof—uh...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn laughed nervously, attempting to hide the strain on his face. Despite that, he didn’t try to stop her, which made it even harder for Marceline to keep a straight face. She took another duffle bag and a big pillow, stacking them both in his outstretched arms. Finn’s legs wobbled. Jake caught on, stifling giggles into his hands in the background.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And these.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo—Marcy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This—this—and this!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> After emptying out half the trunk, Marceline turned towards Finn again, only to find a mountain of luggage with nothing but his hands poking out from the sides. She snickered. Finn poked his head around the pile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait—so </span>
  <em>
    <span>where</span>
  </em>
  <span> were you going with this?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nowhere. I just wanted to see how much junk you’d let me give you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The mountain of stuff wobbled from Finn’s outrage making him look even more ridiculous. Jake boomed with laughter. He pointed between Finn’s feet and the pile in his hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She totally got you, dude! You look like a pillow fort with legs!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Marceline and Jake cracked up, clutching their stomachs and stomping their feet. Finn couldn’t move, so instead he glared at them from around the luggage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hahaha very funny!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quit messing around, you guys. We’re already behind schedule!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie emerged from inside the house, sporting pink joggers and a white T-shirt with sneakers. It was her “road-trip” outfit; comfortable enough for riding in the car for hours while still acceptable enough to be seen wearing in public. Her words. Marceline remembered Bonnie mentioning that while she spent three hours organizing her suitcase. Each outfit had different criteria to meet for each day. Marceline couldn’t help smiling a little at the memory. She just threw together a few outfits and tossed them in her suitcase. Bonnibel wouldn’t be caught dead doing the same thing. Regardless of the outfit’s “purpose”, she looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorable</span>
  </em>
  <span>, especially with her glasses on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie pushed the glasses up the bridge of her nose as she poured over a checklist.  She clicked her pen open and examined the list with furrowed eyebrows. After checking off a few items, Bonnie approached the three of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Before we go, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to make sure we didn’t forget anything,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused, eyeing Finn the Lavish Mound of Luggage. Only his legs and arms were visible, along with a few tufts of his blonde hair. He managed a little wave. Bonnie rolled her eyes and spread her hands at Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marcy! Seriously?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline put a hand over her mouth and let out a dramatic gasp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whaaaat? How did all </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> get there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie snorted begrudgingly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gee I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonder</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Although...hmm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie walked behind the trunk, tapping her pen on her chin as she surveyed the pile of luggage. She looked between Finn and the bags already inside. With a single leap, Bonnie hopped into the back and started rearranging everything. She plucked some of the duffle bags from Finn. She continued emptying his arms, experimenting with different placements. When she finished, all their luggage fit in the trunk with the perfection of a solved puzzle, not a single pillow or suitcase out of place. Satisfied, Bonnie jumped down from the van. Finn, Jake, and Marceline stood behind her, admiring her work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow…we should’ve let her arrange it in the first place!” said Finn putting his hands on his hips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline slung an arm around Bonnie’s shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Bonnibel, always </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> prepared!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline planted a kiss on Bonnie’s cheek, who flushed. She grinned, patting Marceline’s hand on her shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heh—yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie shut her eyes and leaned into Marceline. Marceline’s heart skipped, head swimming with bliss at Bonnie’s touch. After almost a year and a half of reconnecting, tiptoeing, and awkward conversations, they finally made it </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Marceline could still barely believe it. Bonnie blinked and sprang back to full alertness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah—we need to go over the checklist!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She slipped away from Marceline, whipping back out her pen and paper. Bonnie raced around the van and gave each section of it a careful examination. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, tire pressure good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeess ma’am!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nudged one of the nearby tires with the tip of his shoe. Bonnie pointed at each of them with her pen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone has their luggage? And all of you have used the bathroom?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Affirmative</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake raised a hand and saluted to Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gas tank’s full?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline patted the gas tank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just filled her up this morning!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie fired off a few more things on her list, checking them off as she went along. Marceline’s phone rumbled. She unlocked it to find a text from LSP in all caps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hurry the freak up, losers! We’re already on the road!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw shit. Let’s get a move on, guys! LSP and them already took off!” said Marceline charging into the passenger seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake followed her, each clamoring in the back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way we’re letting them beat us to Vegas!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! I ain’t losing my bet with Lady!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie waved her hands around with the pen and paper. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey—hey! We didn’t check—” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All three of them stared her down expectantly from inside the van. Bonnie gave up and sighed. She folded up the checklist, using the clip of her pen to hold it shut. After hooking her glasses on her shirt collar, she slid into the driver’s seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seat belts!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Four clicks of seatbelts snapping on followed her command. Bonnie flipped the ignition and the van roared to life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vegas! Vegas!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake chanted from the back seat, pumping their fists in time with the words like a couple of five-year-olds. Marceline chuckled at them as she tuned her bass. Bonnie coasted through the streets and kept a perfect, even pace until she reached the highway. To kick off the trip, Marceline strummed a few familiar chords on her bass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” she sang.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake looped their arms around each other, swaying and harmonizing with Marceline. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Got a whole lot of money that’s ready to burn, so get those stakes up higher!”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all sang at the top of their lungs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a thousand pretty women waitin’ out there, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>And they're all livin' the devil may care</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline pointed at Bonnie mid-strum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bonnibel!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie glanced at her for a second before turning back to the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! </span>
  <em>
    <span>And I’m just the devil’s asparagus!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So viva</span>
  </em>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline collapsed in her seat, dissolving into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. She clutched her bass and supported herself against the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Confused, Bonnie swiveled her head to look at everyone. Finn and Jake were also dying of laughter in the back seat, holding each other up with both arms. Bonnie’s cheeks went pink. She bit her lip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s...not the right lyrics is it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still laughing, Marceline turned Bonnie’s head towards her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are so damn cute.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake sat up and drummed his hands on Marceline’s seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s roll with it! </span>
  <em>
    <span>And I’m just the devil’s asparagus!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started singing again along with Finn. Once she recovered, Marceline resumed strumming, rejoining them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So, viva las vegas! Viva las vegas!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn used his index fingers as drums. Jake put one hand on his chest and waved the other one in the air while he sang his heart out. Bonnie even joined back in once they got to the chorus. Once they finished the song, they continued to pass the time, chatting and admiring the scenery. At some point, Finn and Jake started playing a new handheld video game they were raving about yesterday morning, so </span>
  <span>Marceline occupied herself by polishing her bass. Bonnie kept her eyes locked on the road the rest of the time, not even moving to change the music. They cruised along the highway until a familiar, bulky, hunk-o-junk Volkswagen van with peeling paint and sun damage appeared in the next lane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! We caught up!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He and Marceline rolled down their windows and greeted their friends in the Volkswagen. Jake smushed himself next to Finn, making kissy faces at Lady in the driver’s seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, babe!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, Jake!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lady smiled and waved, blowing Jake a kiss. She turned back to the road. Marceline saw a head of curly hair wrapped in a purple headband with a star on it. LSP dangled over the edge of the van, blowing a raspberry and flipping everyone off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If isn’t my favo girlfriend, Marcyyyy!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline grinned. She stuck her own middle finger out the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marcy</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? She’s doing it to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Marceline promptly shoved a second middle finger through the window too. Bonnie rolled her eyes while LSP cackled. LSP pointed with both hands at Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yooo and there’s the </span>
  <em>
    <span>birthday</span>
  </em>
  <span> boy! Twenty-one and </span>
  <em>
    <span>legal</span>
  </em>
  <span> bitches!” she said, “You excited for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vegas</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heck yeah, LSP!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn faltered when he saw someone else in the farthest corner of the Volkswagen. He tugged on his shirt collar, wiping away a few stray drops of sweat. Marceline squinted to see why and smirked to herself. A girl with flaming red hair, the same age as Finn sat near the window. He cracked an awkward grin and stiffly waved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phoebe—hey there!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe sat up, giving Finn an enthusiastic wave back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn! What’s up? Happy Birthday!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw, thanks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe pointed with her thumb towards Pepper who stared intently out the window and stroked his chin as if plotting something. Maybe a heist or murder. Probably murder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This guy, Pepper—he has a pentagram tattooed over each </span>
  <em>
    <span>nipple</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Can you believe that?” Phoebe said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pepper just grinned, flashing a peace sign at them all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’s it hanging dudes?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie peeked at the Volkswagen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeez, how many people did you </span>
  <em>
    <span>fit</span>
  </em>
  <span> in there?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pepper pointed at each person in the car while he counted to himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“LSP, Phoebe, Lady, me, Earl, I think that’s it—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave up halfway through and shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who cares? We’re still gonna beat you to Vegas, sluuuuts!” said LSP.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She whooped as the Volkswagen pulled ahead. She almost bashed her face on the back of the car in the next lane, but someone hooked their fingers on the back of her tank top and dragged her back inside in the nick of time. Marceline snorted at the whole thing. LSP got into </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough</span>
  </em>
  <span> trouble in their boring town in Oregon. She couldn’t imagine what her friend would get herself into in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vegas</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jake punched the back of Marceline’s seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Finn—whatcha gonna do in Vegas? Sin City? The City That Never Sleeps?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He made motions with his hands between each sentence. Bonnie snorted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jake, the City That Never Sleeps is New York,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah—tomayto, tomatto.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn perked up and started listing off activities on his fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna watch Billy’s performance in Radio City, order the </span>
  <em>
    <span>best</span>
  </em>
  <span> room service, maybe even gamble a little ‘cause I can now. I don’t know. It’ll be great!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake grabbed his stomach and bunched up the flesh in his fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t forget those all you can eat buffets, bro! Vegas buffets are </span>
  <em>
    <span>legendary</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn leaned back in his seat, licking his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm, all you can eat buffet—I’m definitely doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline rested her arm on the back of her seat and turned to Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re gonna order a drink with your girlfriend too, right?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooooh! Finn and Phoebe ordering drinks like real adults? Four drinks in and the smoochin’ begins!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake brushed against Finn and puckered his lips, showering him with air kisses. Finn shoved him away. He went as red as a beet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cut it out! She’s not my girlfriend!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>yet</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie glanced back at Finn and wiggled her eyebrows at him. Marceline laughed. Finn blushed so hard, she expected steam to shoot out his ears. He rubbed the back of his neck and traced circles on the fabric of his shorts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m working on asking her out—just not—just haven’t—ah—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t overthink it, man! You’ve got a big city, it’s your birthday, and you’ve got a </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweet</span>
  </em>
  <span> hotel room to take her back to,” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jake</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? That’s what me ‘n Lady’ll be doing for sure!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw—TMI,” Finn grumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake cackled and raked his knuckles across Finn’s hair, who started giggling like crazy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahaha hey! Get off!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn pushed on Jake’s face, trying to squirm away. Jake poked him in the belly while Finn swatted at his hands. They continued wrestling around in the back seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo! Take it easy back there! You’re shaking the van!” said Bonnie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boys got the last of their backseat battle out of their systems and separated, catching their breath. Finn rummaged around in one of the coolers. He plucked a can of Super Porp from its six-pack, holding up a second one in his other hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyone thirsty?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh—me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline snatched the can from Finn. She popped it open, relishing in the satisfying hiss after cracking the top. She wasted no time chugging it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you, Bonnie?” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie held up the can of Redbull she kept nearby in the cup holder. Finn and Jake popped open their cans as well, the carbonation hissing out in stereo. Between sips, Jake gave Marceline and Bonnie a knowing look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> guys are probably gonna make use of that hotel room too, huh?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline inhaled almost an entire mouthful of Super Porp and started coughing hysterically. Bonnie made a series of inhuman noises, her skin going red hot. She gripped the steering wheel with bone-crushing force. Finn’s eyes bugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah—Jake! That’s—that is </span>
  <em>
    <span>none</span>
  </em>
  <span>—none of your—</span>
  <em>
    <span>business</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That couldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>less</span>
  </em>
  <span> of </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> business! I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>telling</span>
  </em>
  <span> you!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! I’m just sayin’! We’re all adults here!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline continued hacking away in the background.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t—mind </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just—</span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span> over here,” she sputtered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie reached over to pat her on the back, sighing and still bright pink. Marceline recovered. She deflated against her seat, thumping on her chest with her fist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woof—safe to say I wasn’t ready for </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> one,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even so, Marceline couldn’t resist the bait. She spun around towards the back again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But to answer your question Jake—we totally are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then she winked at Bonnie, who looked ready to burst into flames. Bonnie pursed her lips and swerved into the next lane. When she spoke, she sounded like she just inhaled a ton of helium.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Look at the tank! It’s time to get gas!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline giggled to herself. Bonnie pulled into the station. She twisted around and got Finn and Jake’s attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay guys—gas time, which means a snack and bathroom break! There isn’t a rest stop for another few hours so go even if you don’t think you have to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye, aye cap’n!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woohoo! Let’s get snacks!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They jumped out of the van and raced inside the convenience store—</span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They disappeared in a mass of arms and legs, pushing, shoving, elbowing—all to see who could make it inside first. Eventually, Finn sprinted through the door with Jake yelling something about cheating. Marceline chuckled and hopped out of the van to stretch her legs. Bonnie stood by the gas pump as it filled the tank. She had put her glasses back on while staring intently at her phone, probably mapping out the rest of the trip. Marceline stuffed her hands in her pockets. She wandered towards the other side of the van and leaned against it. She sucked on the inside of her cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So—how much longer ‘til we get there?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie harrumphed without taking her eyes off her phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Getting bored already? We still have like at </span>
  <em>
    <span>least</span>
  </em>
  <span> five more hours, assuming traffic is good, there aren’t any wrecks on the highway, and we keep our rest stops limited.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline kicked a stray rock and watched it tumble a few feet away from her. Bonnie slipped her phone in her back pocket. She leaned on the van next to Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> get there faster if we need to. This van’s tougher than she looks. And I can rig Google to take us on some back roads if—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s no big if we take longer than usual. That’s not what I’m worried about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie wrung her hands. She kept her gaze locked on the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there something you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> worried about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline inhaled softly through her nose. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, right? This isn’t weird? We </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> got back together and now we’re going on a trip.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Our friend is turning twenty-one and we’re taking him on a trip for his birthday. It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> weird. At least—I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> it is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gas pump clicked. Bonnie unlatched the pump and returned it to its compartment before leaning back next to Marceline. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marcy—are you nervous about the trip? Is that why you’re asking me this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline reached out and took Bonnie’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Bon. Look—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess...I can’t stop thinking about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> road trip we went on together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both fell silent. Of course Bonnie remembered too. A trip spent in Marceline’s old, rusty, red Jeep, starting off strong with howling laughter, blaring music, and both of them taking turns dangling out the windows—and ending with awkward, dead quiet, with them barely looking at each other, Marceline trying her hardest to pretend to be asleep while hearing Bonnie’s stifled sobs at the wheel. After that, they didn’t speak to each other for five years. Bonnie swung their interlocked hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...I see what you mean. But—we don’t have to think about it that way,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline raised her eyebrows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie turned Marceline towards her, taking both her hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can think of it as a do-over. We’re in a much better place now and—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a much better </span>
  <em>
    <span>car</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie snorted. She stroked Marceline’s hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span>, much better car, yeah. And—it’ll be amazing this time. I can feel it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline felt a previously unnoticed tension ease from her shoulders. She smiled at Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>—going off gut feelings and junk. Who even </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie rolled her eyes and thumped Marceline on the shoulder with the back of her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shut up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then she looped her arms around Marceline’s neck and kissed her. Soft. Warm. Her lips tasted of bubblegum chapstick. They pressed together. Marceline slipped her hands around Bonnie’s waist. Her heartbeat quickened. Bonnie tangled her fingers in Marceline’s hair. Marceline pulled her even closer, drowning in the moment, head swimming, body floating—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“AHHH! Start the car! Start the car!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake’s simultaneous panicked yelling tore Marceline out of the kiss. She and Bonnie snapped their heads in their direction. Finn charged towards the van at top speed. Jake trailed behind him with his arms full of junk food and pastries. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> is going on?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No time! Get in the car!” said Finn flailing his arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline flung the door open and took the wheel. Bonnie followed her after sliding open the van’s door. Finn and Jake dove headfirst inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Floor it!” said Jake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline backed the van away from the gas pump just as an enormous man stomped out of the store, face screwed up in fury as he screamed at Finn and Jake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You assholes! I’ll fuck you up! You hear me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He bolted across the lot. Marceline yelped and fumbled with the gears. Finn ducked his head. Jake shrank behind the seats, shrieking. Marceline burnt rubber as she tore back down the highway. She didn’t dare look back. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Edge of Their Seats</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The adventure continues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for all the kind words on the first chapter everyone! After a crazy week, the second one is finally here. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What the hell did you two do? Rob the place?” said Bonnie.</p>
<p>The volume in the van increased exponentially. Finn and Jake both started talking and yelling at the same time, punctuating each indecipherable event with sound effects and gestures. Bonnie held up both hands.</p>
<p>“Whoa! Whoa! Slow down! One at a time!” she said.</p>
<p>Finn sat up straighter, placing both hands on his seat.</p>
<p>“The other guy totally started it!”</p>
<p>“Yeah! You wouldn’t believe it! We were just mindin’ our own business!” said Jake, who already started shoveling Doritos in his mouth.</p>
<p>“Start from the top,” said Bonnie.</p>
<p>Finn put his hands in front of him.</p>
<p>“Okay, we were getting snacks, right? You know how they sometimes have those hot food rollie thingies by the pastries?” he said.</p>
<p>“They had soft pretzels on them! Or they did. There was only one left, so obviously it was just waiting for me!” said Jake.</p>
<p>“Uh-huh. And?” said Bonnie.</p>
<p>“Soon as I tried to take it, some other schmuck grabs it at the same time! My hand was on the pretzel, dude! Game over. It’s mine! But he’s straight up holding my hand and has the nerve to look at me funny!”</p>
<p>“So we’re like ‘yo buddy, sorry, but my bro got the pretzel first.’ And he’s like—”</p>
<p>Finn paused, puffing up his chest and pounding it with a fist. He talked in a mock deep, menacing voice.</p>
<p>“—’you better gimme this gosh dang pretzel before I rip your freaking hand off!’”</p>
<p>Jake tilted his head at Finn.</p>
<p>“Finn, dude—you can drink alcohol now. You can lose the PG curse words.”</p>
<p>“Aw I know but I’m not a big swear word guy. They feel too intense in my mouth hole!”</p>
<p>Finn waved his hands over his lips to emphasize. Bonnie twirled her hand, goading them to continue.</p>
<p>“Dudes! Focus!” she said.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, yeah! So Jake takes the pretzel and runs away and the guy—” said Finn.</p>
<p>“—completely loses his shit, man! Balls-to-the-walls bonkers! He knocks over like three different movie stands chasing after me! The cashier starts yellin’, the pretzel guy is still yellin’. I thought he was gonna kill me!”</p>
<p>“Hoo yeah. So we jetted out of there as fast as we could! All over a pretzel!”</p>
<p>Finn spread his hands and sank in his seat. Jake shook his head while munching on the last of his Doritos. Marceline whistled.</p>
<p>“Must’ve been a really good pretzel then, huh?” she said.</p>
<p>Jake reached into his pocket. He whipped out the pretzel wrapped in wax paper and held it up as if it were a gift from the gods.</p>
<p>“Behold! We’re about to find out!”</p>
<p>He took a huge bite out of it. Bonnie sighed.</p>
<p>“Well I’m glad you two are okay.”</p>
<p>She tapped her index finger on her chin, thinking about it.</p>
<p>“But you did rob the place!”</p>
<p>Jake chuckled around his mouthful of pretzel.</p>
<p>“Heh, yeah. Technically.”</p>
<p>“Not on purpose!” said Finn.</p>
<p>Bonnie shrugged. Marceline peered at Jake through the rear-view mirror.</p>
<p>“So what’s the final verdict, dude? Worth it?” she said.</p>
<p>“Hmm.”</p>
<p>Jake tilted his chin up in thought while he chewed. He nodded slowly, narrowing his eyes. Everyone in the van waited with bated breath. Jake tore off another piece.</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay! It’s pretty good. I don’t know if I’d kill someone over it, though.”</p>
<p>“That’s a fair assessment. I don’t know of any foods I’d kill someone over,” said Bonnie.</p>
<p>“Maritza's Margarita Pizza, deadass!” said Marceline immediately.</p>
<p>Bonnie spun towards her, quirking up an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Wait, seriously?”</p>
<p>“Hell yeah! They’ve got the best tomatoes in town. And that secret sauce they put on it? Ugh—yes.”</p>
<p>Marceline threw back her head and blew a kiss into the air. She slouched, patting her stomach which somehow growled with perfect timing.</p>
<p>“Man, I’m hungry now. What else did you guys end up getting?” said Marceline.</p>
<p>Finn rummaged through their pile of food. He shoved aside a few wrappers from Jake’s end, along with a neon-colored candy which looked almost radioactive. After sifting for a little longer, he held up a jelly danish.</p>
<p>“How ‘bout this?” he said.</p>
<p>Marceline glanced at it, her eyes going as wide as dinner plates.</p>
<p>“Strawberry jelly?” she said.</p>
<p>Finn squinted at the label and nodded.</p>
<p>“Yes ma’am!”</p>
<p>“Nice! I’ll take it!”</p>
<p>Marceline shooked Bonnie’s shoulder, grinning.</p>
<p>“Feed me!”</p>
<p>Bonnie took the danish from Finn. She couldn’t help giggling a bit as Marcy bounced in her seat like an excited kid while waiting for her to unwrap it. She was practically salivating by the time Bonnie got it out.</p>
<p>“Okay, open wide!”</p>
<p>Bonnie stuffed the danish in Marceline’s mouth. Marceline chomped down, almost eating half of the entire thing right then and there. Bonnie withdrew the danish to let her chew. Marcy smiled around the food.</p>
<p>“Mmm. Thanks, Bon!”</p>
<p>The van chugged down the highway. They entered a mountainous terrain, the trees and greenery disappearing. After passing the mountains, there was nothing but open desert. Marceline devoured the last of the danish and sighed in content. Bonnie, bored of staring at dirt and shrubs, whipped out her book of crosswords from her backpack.</p>
<p>“Nerrrrd,” said Marcy.</p>
<p>“Oh, stop,” said Bonnie, affectionately rolling her eyes as she slipped her glasses on.</p>
<p>She wanted to do a course check, except she couldn’t get a signal this far out in the middle of nowhere. She meant to install Wi-Fi in the van ages ago, but between getting her Ph.D, planning the trip, and tackling hundreds of other projects, she never got around to it. Bonnie made a mental note to do it after the trip. Finn and Jake finished inhaling their snack haul and pulled out a deck of cards. Jake laid down the rules for poker. Finn nodded and hummed in understanding, although once they started playing, Jake had to go over them again. Bonnie filled in one of the answers on her crossword about wildlife and clucked her tongue.</p>
<p>
  <span>“Won’t you guys be playing enough poker in Vegas?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah—but you see, Bonnibel, I’m teaching my boy Finn here how to play it </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Gotta get some good practice in so he can come home with </span>
  <em>
    <span>big</span>
  </em>
  <span> money,” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn stroked his chin, staring intently at his hand. He drew a card and his face lit up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, heck yeah! This is just what I needed!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, dude!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached over and smashed Finn’s cheeks together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Poker</span>
  </em>
  <span> face, remember? If everyone else knows you got something good or bad, they’ll clean you out in no time!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn grinned sheepishly between Jake’s hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah. I keep forgetting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved away from Jake’s grasp and rubbed his face with his own hands as if wiping off his expression. Finn sat up with the blankest look possible. He took a huge breath through his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay! I am an iron, impenetrable wall. No one knows what I’m thinking. No one knows my plan. The cards have </span>
  <em>
    <span>zero</span>
  </em>
  <span> effect on me. I am a poker-playing </span>
  <em>
    <span>master</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn drew another card. He gritted his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dang it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finn</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Seriously man!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My bad!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline pointed towards the back at Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know—you </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> use it as a tactic. If you get a card that’s total junk, just pretend it’s amazing! Then everyone will be too scared to bet against you,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooooh, now</span>
  <em>
    <span> that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> an idea,” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continued to play and to Finn’s better fortune, Jake actually yelled in surprise a few times when Finn laid down a full house. Bonnie scribbled in the next answer for her crossword in pen. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> did the puzzles in pen. The permanence of the ink eliminated any room for mistakes. She tapped it over and over on her book.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright—it’s an ocean-dwelling mammal and it has seven letters. And it starts with a ‘D’,” she said aloud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie sometimes said a couple of the hints out loud, just in case anyone wanted to play along. Marceline patted the steering wheel in excitement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! I got this one!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She spun towards Bonnie, pointed an enthusiastic finger at her, and said with every conceivable ounce of confidence:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Porcupine</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For half a second, the entire van was speechless. Finn and Jake paused their game and stared at the driver’s seat, faces twisted in disbelief and amusement. Bonnie gaped at Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie couldn’t even get the word out before she wheezed and doubled over laughing, bringing the puzzle book up to her face. Marceline blinked. She spread her free hand in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait why is that—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline smacked the steering wheel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh—</span>
  <em>
    <span>hah</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I wasn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was I?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake collapsed in the back, roaring with laughter. Eventually, Marceline joined them and the entire van went into hystericals. They cackled, smacked the seats, and fell over each other—it probably wasn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> funny. But after driving for almost four hours straight, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> was </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> funny. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ocean-dwelling mammal that starts with a ‘D’ and you say—</span>
  <em>
    <span>porcupine</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was the first thing that popped in my head!” said Marcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re never living that down. You know that, right?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve solved the puzzle everyone! The answer is—dinghis.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie mock wrote in the puzzle book while Finn and Jake howled in the back again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hahaha. You all suck. Every last one of you. I’ll turn this car around!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie leaned over to kiss Marcy on the cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope! No kisses for you, Bonnibel!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the small smile and blush on Marcy’s face indicated she wanted the opposite. They cruised along once everyone recovered. Occasionally, someone would shout “porcupine” and Marceline would roar at them to shut up. After that, the ride fell into comfortable silence. Bonnie finished a few more puzzles. Finn and Jake kicked back, watching the scenery. At some point, Marceline started peeking at the rear-view mirror, furrowing her eyebrows and frowning. She adjusted the mirror and slouched back against the seat. Marceline checked the other mirrors on the car, repeating this about three more times.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh—am I crazy or is that car following us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie, Finn, and Jake all readjusted to check behind the van. A red sports car with several dents and mud spackling the skirt hovered a few feet behind them. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> alarmingly close. Right away it gave Bonnie a nasty feeling. Finn hummed, squinting at the sports car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe they’re just going the same way? We’re on the highway. It’s not like they have a whole lot of other places to go,” he said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He did have a point, but Bonnie couldn’t shake the uneasiness while staring at the car. She pulled her glasses off and stretched in her seat to get a better look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can either of you guys see the driver?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake wriggled out of his seat belt. He crawled halfway into the back, resting one hand on the mounds of luggage and shading his eyes with the other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He looks kinda familiar...hmm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake scooted farther over, trying to peek around a suitcase. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s better. He looks like—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake squealed and dove back into his seat. He shrunk below the headrest as far down as he could go, baring his teeth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit! Shit! Shit!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? What?” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn attempted to navigate around their luggage, but Jake grabbed him and pulled him below the headrest too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>! It’s pretzel guy!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He twitched and grinded his teeth. Finn’s eyes bulged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way! Okie dokes. This dude wants a fight? That’s what I brought </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> for!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn reached under Marcy’s seat and whipped out a metal softball bat. He smacked the end of it into his palm. Bonnie popped open the glove compartment. She whipped out her pistol and cocked it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s what I brought </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> for,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn, Jake, and Marceline gasped in stereo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Whoaaa</span>
  </em>
  <span> there, Bonnibel!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline gingerly pushed Bonnie’s pistol down and checked the rear-view again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How about we try shaking him off </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> shooting up the highway?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie grumbled, setting the pistol in her lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shooting at him would make him go away </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>faster, but sure. Bonnie didn’t say this out loud, of course. Marceline checked her surroundings. She swerved into the next lane. Pretzel guy swerved with her, confirming their suspicions. Jake yelped and flopped back into his seat. Marceline slammed on the gas. And, unsurprisingly, Pretzel guy sped up too. Marceline glared at him through the mirrors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh—get out of here, psycho!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She steered into the next lane, throwing Finn and Jake around in the back. Marceline maneuvered around random cars as if she were in the Indie 500. Bonnie almost smashed her face against the window on three separate occasions. Finn grunted while he flopped around in his seat. Jake stayed hunched where he was and didn’t dare stretch his neck above the headrest. Marceline spun her head around and narrowed her eyes at Pretzel guy. She rolled down the window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marcy, what are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get off my ass, dickhead!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pretzel guy shouted something inaudible back. Bonnie glanced back at the road—and saw the back of another car rapidly approaching. Her following shriek could’ve woken her ancestors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marceline</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcy turned to the road at the very last second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline yanked the steering wheel, pulling into the next lane inches away from rear-ending the car in front of them. It created a symphony of honking, screeching tires, and blood curdling screams. Bonnie shrank against her seat, crushing the ceiling handle. Her whole body went rigid with terror. She managed to snap her head towards Finn and Jake. They looked in even worse shape, neither of them with a single drop of color in their faces. Jake was sweating buckets and clinging to Finn for dear life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys okay?” Bonne said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn gave her a shaky smile and a weak thumbs-up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just another Friday afternoon for </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re gonna </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Jake wailed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> gonna die! Cool it! I’ve got this!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline wove between several more cars that they caught up to. Pretzel guy tried his best to keep up, but he started falling behind. He had to squeeze around two semi trucks. Finn pumped his fist in the air after he got into a good position to watch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeehaw! We’re losing him! You go, Marcy!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake breathed a sigh of relief. Marceline smirked, pressing down on the pedal again. She stole the next lane and slowed back to a casual cruise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he gone?” she asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie examined the back of the car. Finn and Jake craned their necks around suitcases while they checked with her. No beat-down red sports car in sight—at least for the moment. Bonnie didn’t buy it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think so?” said Finn although he sounded as doubtful as Bonnie felt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He readjusted so he could sit on his feet. Jake did a 180 scan. His scream cut through the air once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“AHHH!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake flailed his arms, staring wide-eyed at the left lane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There he is!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone whipped their heads towards the left side of the car where Pretzel guy had somehow managed to pull up next to them. He graced them all with a death glare, lips curled into snarl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously? It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretzel</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She snatched her pistol back up from her lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I at </span>
  <em>
    <span>least</span>
  </em>
  <span> fire a warning shot?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bonnie </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> getting arrested today!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re gonna get arrested </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the way </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> driving!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanna keep us away from the angry, pretzel asshole? I’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>give</span>
  </em>
  <span> you the wheel!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake pounded his fists on the seats. He seethed at Pretzel guy in the next lane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright! That’s enough! I have an idea!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake unbuckled himself and climbed over the seats towards Finn. He rolled down the window, poking his head out of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jake! What the heck are you doing?” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake put a hand on the side of his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo! You wanna see where your pretzel is?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It all happened in one fluid motion. Jake spun around. He unbuckled his shorts. He hooked his thumbs around both his shorts and underwater, yanking them down to his knees. The action revealed his round, bare, glistening ass, devoid of a single hair and so shiny, the sun seemed to reflect off it. Jake stuffed it out the open window and wiggled it for Pretzel guy to see. Pretzel guy’s face warped into utter terror as if he were witnessing the summoning of the devil himself. He slammed the brakes too hard, causing him to lose control of the sports car for a split second. It reeled off-road into the dirt. A cloud of dust billowed from the tires while Pretzel guy pounded the dashboard. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie slowly turned back around in her seat, baffled, stunned, and overall trying to decide if she should be disgusted or impressed. Marceline and Finn roared with laughter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haha! He won’t be following us anymore!” said Jake, pulling his pants back up and hopping back into his seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> pleased with himself. Finn curled up into a ball, red-faced and hiccupping. Marceline couldn’t get it together. She snorted and cackled, using the steering wheel to support herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s—</span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> way to get rid of him, I guess,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It sure is! </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span> one wants to see a random fella’s ass! It’s a universal rule!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heh—yeah. You have a point there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was awesome, dude!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She slipped her open palm towards the back seat and Jake hi-fived her. Finn caught his breath, readjusting in his seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Man, we almost died in a convenience store, got followed, almost died</span>
  <em>
    <span> again</span>
  </em>
  <span>—” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bonnibel almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>shot </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone,” Jake added. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw—Bonnie wouldn’t have shot him!” said Finn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie and Marceline spoke at the exact same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes I/she would’ve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcy laughed and playfully punched Bonnie in the shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lucky for him, Marcy was here to stop me otherwise we’d have a body to be hiding right now,” said Bonnie, “Would’ve been easy to do too. We’re already in the middle of nowhere and I have a shovel in the back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake went into a chorus of nervous laughter while staring at Bonnie with a mixture of horror and concern. Bonnie shrugged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>kidding</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another pause and she added, “Sort of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline broke the following awkward silence with a snort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw. You’re so cute when you’re filled with </span>
  <em>
    <span>bloodlust</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake chuckled much less fearfully this time. They all eased back into the ride. Bonnie kept a sharp eye out for Pretzel guy.  A solid half-hour passed with no red sports car in sight. She thought she saw it reappear, but it was just a similar model. When she did see the car again, it was merging on to a different highway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretzel guy’s going on another highway. Good riddance!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone in the car cheered. Jake sighed and splayed out in his seat. Marceline blew air between her cheeks, following Bonnie’s gaze while the sports car disappeared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I was still a little paranoid there for a while,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too. Now I can finally put this down!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He set down his metal bat, grinning and kicked back in his seat. Marceline touched Bonnie’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I still on the right track, Bon?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie slipped on her glasses and checked her phone. They were close to a town so she managed to get enough of a signal to check their route. On Google maps, the arrow jetted across the travel line, still somehow on the right track. Bonnie nodded, closing up the app. She hooked her glasses back on her shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep. We’ve only got three more hours guys! We’re making good time too, all things considered,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah—yeah. Probably because of our car chase earlier. This baby can go pretty damn fast in a pinch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline gave the steering wheel an affectionate pat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> manage to survive. I’ll give you that,” said Bonnie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t take </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the credit. Jake was the one who whipped out his secret weapon!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie rolled her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. Yeah. Thank you Jake for showing Pretzel guy your ass.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn laughed and Jake folded his arms in triumph. He tilted in his seat to pat his right buttcheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hells yeah! It’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice</span>
  </em>
  <span> ass too! He got </span>
  <em>
    <span>lucky</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubbed his buttcheek for good measure, adding to the growing list of things Bonnie wished she didn’t see. Marceline grinned, opening her mouth to say something else. Instead, she said nothing and scowled at the pedals. She pushed harder on the gas. She ducked under the dashboard. Bonnie leaned near her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why’s it so much harder to speed up?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gritted her teeth, pressing on the gas again. Bonnie checked the road. People kept passing them in the next lane. She listened in to see if she could detect any weird noises. Through the sounds of traffic and the music softly playing on the radio, Bonnie heard it: </span>
  <em>
    <span>clink, clink, clink</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The signature sound of metal on asphalt. She threw back her head and groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> it! Pull over!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline scooted towards the edge of the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? What is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stopped the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve got a </span>
  <em>
    <span>flat</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh? How? Didn’t you get fresh tires like a day before we left?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Ugh—</span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I don’t believe—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie threw the door open, cursing up a storm in German. She stomped around the car to find the offending tire. Sure enough, the tire in the back right of the car sat as flat as a pancake, the rim engulfing the sad, airless rubber. Finn, Jake, and Marceline all hopped out watching Bonnie as she raced back and forth. She ran to the trunk. She grabbed the tire kit and slapped it on the floor in front of the wheel. After jacking the car up, Bonnie got to work. She disassembled everything and ripped the floppy tire off the rim. Bonnie inspected it, grinding her teeth, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know how her brand new tire was somehow this flat already. Then she found it: two telltale holes and one single nail still lodged between the tracking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nails</span>
  </em>
  <span>! We ran over </span>
  <em>
    <span>three</span>
  </em>
  <span> nails!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit—for real?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonne flung up the useless rubber to show them all. Marceline shrank back. She shuffled her feet and rubbed the scars on her neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Bonnie—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah it’s not your fault, Marcy. Some </span>
  <em>
    <span>dipshit</span>
  </em>
  <span> decided to travel cross-country with unsecured </span>
  <em>
    <span>nails</span>
  </em>
  <span> on their car. They probably hit a bump or something and a bunch of them fell out, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>guess</span>
  </em>
  <span> who gets to have </span>
  <em>
    <span>three </span>
  </em>
  <span>nails in the car. Unbelievable! It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span> what people get away with—unsafe parts on a truck, no secure fastening, no one even cleaning it up—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie continued ranting while she stormed around to the back of the van to grab the spare tire. Finn stepped forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey—uh you want some help with—?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn’s voice trailed off as Bonnie hoisted up the spare tire with ease. She strolled back over to the flat and rested the spare against the van. She turned to a bewildered Finn and managed a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m much stronger than I look! But…thanks. This is gonna take a second, dudes. Go ahead and stretch and stuff while I get this fixed,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake perked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oooh! I brought a ball! We should play monkey in the middle. Here, I’ll get it!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dove inside the trunk, rattling the van on the jack. Bonnie yanked her hands back, just narrowly avoiding getting her fingers crushed between the rim and the van. She threw up her arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch it, Jake!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry! I’ll just be a sec!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake wriggled out from the back, ball in hand. He held it over his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline spun around, surveying the area. They ended up near a rocky clearing with a nice view. Bonnie couldn’t argue that. Mountain ranges sat on the horizon in the distance. A few cacti with bright-colored, healthy flowers blooming on them were scattered around the clearing. Even bugs were minimal. Marceline clucked her tongue in approval and turned back to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess this isn’t the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst</span>
  </em>
  <span> place to be stranded for a minute. Look at that cliff!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pointed at the edge of the clearing several feet away. Bonnie squinted at it. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> look like a cliff. It ended abruptly with the ground looking much farther off.  Jake’s eyes bugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow! Don’t fall over </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span> guys! That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>certain</span>
  </em>
  <span> death!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Monkey in the middle with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>danger</span>
  </em>
  <span> element? Now we’re talking!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pounded a fist on his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be in the middle first!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline bounced between each foot, closest to the cliff and held her hands up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Prepare to be in the middle </span>
  <em>
    <span>forever</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Finn!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Be careful, you three!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> like how close Marcy was to that cliff. Like Jake said, for all they knew a fall from there </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> mean certain death. The last thing she wanted was their birthday celebration plans to turn into funeral plans. The three of them began the game while acknowledging Bonnie’s warning with nothing more than a few grunts. Sighing, Bonnie attached the last of the lug nuts while they played. Jake chucked the ball. Finn nabbed it out of the air almost immediately. Jake groaned his way into the middle. They sent the ball flying everywhere. Finn maneuvered a toss around Jake. The ball rolled across the dirt. Marceline launched herself on top of it before Jake could get it. Finn and Marceline continued dancing around Jake who grumbled and complained as they kept it perfectly out of his reach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, guys!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gotta catch the ball, Jake or </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> stuck!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He did a few tricks with the ball while dodging Jake. Jake bared his teeth and lunged at him. Finn hurled it in a perfect, parabolic arc towards Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catch, Marcy!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcy jogged backwards after the ball—moving </span>
  <em>
    <span>dangerously</span>
  </em>
  <span> close to the edge of the cliff. Bonnie stood up, heart racing. Did Marceline see it at </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marcy</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing. Marceline was too far away. She paid </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> attention to the edge of the cliff whatsoever. Bonnie stomped her foot and cupped her hands around her mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marceline</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, Finn! You’ve got an arm on you!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, Finn and Jake noticed Marceline’s position too. Finn jumped up and down waving his arms like a maniac.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh crapballs! Look out, Marcy!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marceline! Behind you!” said Jake, screaming himself purple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t hear? Marceline kept jogging after the ball, not looking. Not checking. Shock jolted through Bonnie. Marcy was going right off that cliff. All three of them yelled to her at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marceline look out!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie broke into a sprint. Marceline </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> glanced behind her, but she was a second too late. She stepped out into the open air. She tumbled. She disappeared in a cloud of dust. Bonnie barely heard Marceline let out a short, loud “</span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” before she fell over the edge. Bonnie’s heart nearly stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ohhhhh god! Oh god!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, shit, shit!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie couldn’t speak around the panic. Her sprint went frantic. She barreled across the clearing, charging at top speed. Finn and Jake followed, but they could hardly keep up with her. They all skidded to halt upon reaching the edge of the cliff. Bonnie’s legs trembled when she dared to look over it. She expected all of the worst things possible: broken legs or ribs, a concussion, uncontrollable bleeding, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>death</span>
  </em>
  <span> all together. Who could help them out here? There were no hospitals nearby! An ambulance could take hours to get there. Marceline wouldn’t make it. She wouldn’t. Bonnie looked—and saw Marcy lying there only two feet below them, seemingly unharmed. Dirt and dust caked her jeans and T-shirt while she groaned. Marceline flopped her limbs out, making herself look as flat as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh—okay so—good news, y’all. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a cliff. It’s a ditch,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie could’ve collapsed with relief. Finn and Jake both let out simultaneous breaths. Finn put a hand on his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, Marceline! You scared the shit out of us for a minute there!” said Jake, wiping sweat off his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie leapt into the ditch with Marceline. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Did you hit your head? Did you break anything?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, no, and I think I sprained my wrist a little.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie dragged Marcy to her feet. Marceline held out her left arm, her wrist growing more and more purple by the second. Bonnie inspected it for any signs of broken bones or cuts. She relaxed when she found none of those things, although her arms kept trembling and the pit hadn’t left her stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a little swollen but it’s not broken!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake whooped from above. They hauled themselves over the edge to help Bonnie drag Marceline out from the ditch. Marceline had the nerve to snort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything’s cool guys! I survived my two-foot fall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She held up her good hand. Finn rubbed the back of his neck, grinning awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe it’s time we get back to the van,” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah—that’s a good idea,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say it so shortly, but she couldn’t get her voice to stop shaking. Marceline eyed her, frowning a little in concern. Finn and Jake at least seemed to let it slide. They returned to their spots in the back of the van. Bonnie sat Marcy down in the passenger seat and whipped out the first-aid kit she kept in the glove compartment. Marceline peered inside while Bonnie wrapped up her wrist with some gauze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>two</span>
  </em>
  <span> pistols in there, but also a first-aid kit?” she said, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> a combo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Can’t believe I almost used </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them on the same day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Bonnie’s response came out short when she didn’t mean for it to. Marceline furrowed her eyebrows. She stayed still for Bonnie, who focused as hard as she could on Marcy’s wrist to avoid eye-contact. In an effort to diffuse the tension, Bonnie gestured towards the tail-end of the van.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a shotgun in the compartment in the truck, too. So, if there’s ever a zombie apocalypse or something, I’m your girl.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, zombie apocalypse? Steal Bonnie’s fully-armed van. Got it,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her tone was light, but Bonnie detected a slight undercurrent of anxiety. Bonnie tried to smile and failed, making more of a grimace. She inhaled through her nose once, twice. She didn’t know how to explain yet. Finn wormed his way into the trunk. Bonnie watched him, thankful for the distraction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way! You actually have a shotgun in there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He and Jake dug through the luggage to find the compartment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa-ho-ho! She ain’t kidding! It’s huge!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline chuckled at them. Even so, Bonnie felt her tense when she turned back to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bonnie—is everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie sighed, finishing the last of the gauze. She stuffed it back into the first-aid kit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…I’ll take the wheel though. You should ice that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie slid into the driver’s seat again and sent them back on the road without another word.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. All is Well in Taco Bell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time for dinner.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Marceline fiddled with the gauze on her wrist, despite Bonnie insisting she leave it alone. Finn and Jake argued about which fast food place they should stop at for dinner in the back. Bonnie drove, not even acknowledging the discussion. Her fingers remained firmly latched around the steering wheel. She had been quiet since the flat tire. Marceline wanted to say something, except she didn’t know where to start. Bonne was mad at her—she </span>
  <em>
    <span>must’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> been. First, Marceline got them a flat. Then she hurled herself in a ditch like an idiot and sprained her wrist so she couldn’t even help drive anymore. Oh and this was all </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> after Bonnie said they were making good time. Nice. Marceline figured she’d screw up the trip at some point. She just didn’t expect it to be before they even </span>
  <em>
    <span>made </span>
  </em>
  <span>it to Vegas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At some point, Finn and Jake had it narrowed down to either Taco Bell or In ‘n Out. Finn raved about Quesaritos and the Crunchwrap Supreme while Jake was dead set on Animal Fries. Marceline loved both so she didn’t care. Bonnie didn’t offer any input. She kept her eyes locked on the road. Finn and Jake gave carefully constructed arguments over which was better, but they couldn’t come to an agreement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright there’s only one way to settle this!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held a fist over his open palm, giving Jake a challenging stare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rock, paper, scissors! I win, we go to Taco Bell. You win, we go to In n Out. Deal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You bet!” said Jake, mimicking Finn’s position.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They paused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure you gals don’t care where we go?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie shook her head. Marceline swatted a hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah. I’m so hungry, I’ll eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn and Jake commenced the game, yelling “rock, paper, scissors!” and smacking their fists on their palms. Jake yelled in triumph.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw, man! Best two out of three!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you say, bro! You’re still gonna lose!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another two rounds and Finn whooped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haha yeah! Taco Bell it is!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake folded his arms, grumbling. Finn did a victory dance while sitting, spinning his fists in a circle and rolling his shoulders. Bonnie took the next exit that advertised a Taco Bell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Boo. I wanted animal fries,” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about nachos, dude? Think about it! Hot cheese oozing over those salty chips with all the taco meat on top,” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake’s eyes got all wide. Finn leaned closer and made an eating motion with his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dip it in some Taco Bell sauce, get some </span>
  <em>
    <span>actual</span>
  </em>
  <span> tacos on the side—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooooh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake licked his lips. He rubbed his belly with both hands and sat up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright. You sold me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie pulled into the Taco Bell parking lot, the neon logo glowing magnificently against the sunset. It almost looked like a painting. As soon as the van stopped, Finn and Jake charged inside. Bonnie stepped out of the van. Marceline took a deep breath. Now was as good of a time as any if she was going to say something. She adjusted the gauze on her wrist again and opened her door. Marceline approached Bonnie, the slightest anxiety churning in her gut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen, Bon—I’m sorry about earlier. I even </span>
  <em>
    <span>saw</span>
  </em>
  <span> the cliff before. Now my wrist is all jacked and I can’t help drive—oh!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie silenced Marceline by tackling her in a big hug. Stunned, Marceline let her arms wrap around Bonnie’s waist. They took a moment to hold each other. After a second, Marceline felt Bonnie sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care that you can’t drive the rest of the way, you dinghis.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her voice was so soft, Marceline almost didn’t hear her. Bonnie adjusted and hugged Marceline tighter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>died</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a minute, you know. You’re lucky all you got was a sprained wrist. What if you broke something or got a concussion or started bleeding out? We’re in the middle of </span>
  <em>
    <span>nowhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What if no one could get to you in time to help? I wouldn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, Bonnie—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline slipped out of the embrace so she could look Bonnie in the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It freaked you out </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> much?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie let go of Marceline, looking at her like she just said the moon landing was fake, and threw her arms in the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span> it freaked me out ‘that much’! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>fell</span>
  </em>
  <span> off a </span>
  <em>
    <span>cliff</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After making quotes with her fingers, Bonnie grimaced. She turned away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah—I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah. You just got scared. I would’ve been the same way if it was you. Besides—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline paused to poke Bonnie in the temple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“With </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> big brain of yours? You would’ve thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe…I don’t wanna </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to think of something. Promise me you’ll try not to do anymore accidental cliff diving. How about that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll give up accidental cliff diving, Bonnibel. Even though it’s the hottest sport in the country.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that, Bonnie started laughing. She put a hand on Marceline’s cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. Marceline’s heart fluttered. Her cheeks heated up. Warmth pooled in her chest. She hooked her index finger around the waistband of Bonnie’s pants and yanked her closer. Bonnie brushed Marceline’s hair behind her ear. They pulled away, smiling, both flushed. Bonnie hummed. She slipped her fingers between Marceline’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry for freaking out,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s cool, dude! You’re so cute when you’re all worried about me, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haha.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie snuck in another peck on Marceline’s lips before they walked inside the Taco Bell, still holding hands. Upon opening the door, they were assaulted with the aroma of nacho cheese, spices, and cheap taco meat. Finn and Jake waved when they entered, already chowing down on a mountain of nachos and Quesaritos in a booth by the window. Marceline and Bonnie ordered. Once they picked up their food, they slid into the booth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you guys are! What, were y’all smoochin’ or what?” said Jake around a mouthful of tortilla chips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something like that,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continued to chat while stuffing their faces. Marceline didn’t realize how hungry she was until she started eating. One single bite and her stomach roared as if this was her first meal in weeks. She devoured some of the nachos, her tacos, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a burrito. Bonnie nibbled on a chicken quesadilla, occasionally stealing some sour cream from Marceline’s plate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Jake—I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shoot!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wax your </span>
  <em>
    <span>ass</span>
  </em>
  <span> or what? I’ve never seen such a shiny pair of cheeks in my life!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie almost choked on her quesadilla. Finn giggled into his soda straw, creating some bubbles in the cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should I be </span>
  <em>
    <span>worried</span>
  </em>
  <span> you spent all this time wondering that?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s a fair question!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A fair question it is, dear Marceline! And yeah! I do get my ass waxed. Thank you for noticing!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie stared at him, dumbstruck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait—you actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Every couple weeks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s true,” said Finn, “He’s totally obvious about it too. He’ll run out the door like ‘see ya, bro! I’m off to wax my buns!’ and then he’s gone for like—two hours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Booty waxing is a high art form! It takes time. Besides, Lady likes it. Says it makes it good for smackin’!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake even performed a spanking motion for emphasis. Marceline burst out laughing at both him and at Bonnie who gave him the most exasperated look mid-bite. Finn rolled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jake</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, the guy’s got his priorities straight! He knows what his girl likes!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! See? Marcy gets it!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave Marceline a fist bump while Bonnie shrugged and resumed eating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eh—well, I’ve already seen your ass, so what’s a couple more unwanted details at this point?” said Bonnie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After chowing down for a while, Finn mentioned a few more activities he wanted to try in Vegas. He heard about a sword-fighting show and wanted to ride one of the roller coasters. Jake had a plan for hitting every buffet on the block. Before Marceline could bring ideas up to Bonnie, a screech that could shatter glass echoed from the register.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This taco is too—</span>
  <em>
    <span>spicy</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Why did you make it so </span>
  <em>
    <span>spicy</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voice was high-pitched, hysterical, and sounded like it could rupture the throat of every other human being alive. Bonnie’s head shot up. She narrowed her eyes towards the front of the Taco Bell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that—?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This level of spice is—</span>
  <em>
    <span>unacceptableeee</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heh, yeah. That’s Earl,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh snap! Does that mean all the other guys are here?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She poked her head up so she could see the front better. She could make out the top of LSP’s head and Earl’s long, almost pointy nose. He flailed his skinny arms around while screaming something about allergies. Marceline also noticed Finn’s totally-not-girlfriend, Phoebe awkwardly shuffling away from the line with a tray of nothing but tacos in her hands. She grinned when she saw them all at the table and came running over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wassup guys! What are the odds we all hit the same Taco Bell? Mind if I sit?” said Phoebe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake elbowed Finn, who watched her with wide, dilated pupils. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>drool</span>
  </em>
  <span> started pooling on the corner of his lip! Finn shuddered. He swallowed up the excess spit and scooted over for Phoebe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Yeah! Totally!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nice. Thanks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe dropped her tray on the table, knocking out some of the lettuce in her tacos and plopped herself right next to Finn. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span> next to Finn. Their shoulders brushed together. The poor dude looked ready to pass out. Phoebe dug into her tacos, oblivious to Finn’s short-circuiting.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys will never guess who we ran into on the way!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe gestured towards a young Pakistani man with a head of curly hair and a big nose approaching them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, hey dudes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spread his hands. Jake wriggled out from inside the booth and threw his arms around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Prismo</span>
  </em>
  <span>! How the hell are you, man?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake clapped Prismo’s shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen you in forever! Whatcha doing out here?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh just going to Vegas with the guys. We got some extra cash, a few days off—thought we’d have a good time,” said Prismo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’d Phoebes find you?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo laughed. He pointed at Phoebe, who had already inhaled her entire taco tray. She looked up and smiled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I finished rolling a fat one at one of the rest stops and she just—appeared. I was pretty impressed. She’s like a bloodhound for kush. She didn’t realize it was me until about three hits in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe giggled into her tray. Bonnie leaned closer to Marceline and lowered her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are they talking about? A </span>
  <em>
    <span>fat</span>
  </em>
  <span> one? Fat </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline pressed her thumb and index finger together, miming smoking a joint. Bonnie stared at her blankly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline snorted and put a hand on Bonnie’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Weed. They were smoking weed, Bonnibel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ohhh</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was some good stuff! I’m still a </span>
  <em>
    <span>tiny</span>
  </em>
  <span> bit toasty, but it’s making the drive really fun!” said Phoebe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She picked up a few stray crumbs with the tips of her fingers and licked them clean. Jake moved his eyebrows up and down to get Finn’s attention. He motioned with his pupils towards Phoebe. Finn couldn’t seem to register what was happening for a second. He let his mouth hang open slightly and blinked in confusion at Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake winked at him, eyeing Phoebe again. Finn swallowed and turned to her. He pointed at his nachos. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You—want the rest?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe’s entire face lit up like a kid at Christmas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hell yeah! Thanks!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe wasted no time digging in. She shoveled them in her mouth with both hands, scooping up heaps of salsa and sour cream. Finn watched, sweating bullets. He cast a nervous look towards Marceline. She gave him a thumbs up. Bonnie suppressed a smirk and tried to act casual while finishing her quesadilla. Jake jerked his head at Phoebe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ask her!” he mouthed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn rubbed the back of his head. Prismo looked at Jake for an explanation, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> confused about what was going on. Jake winked in Phoebe and Finn’s direction and grinned at him. Prismo mouthed an “oh”. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So—Prismo! Who’d you come here with?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She figured she should keep Prismo’s attention off Finn so he wouldn’t get any more nervous than he already was. Prismo caught on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just Owl and this other guy, Braco from my Theology 101 class. We needed an extra guy to help pay for the room and he was down to come!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline and  Prismo continued chatting about the hotels they planned on staying at and where they could all meet up. Jake and Bonnie chimed in but all of them kept close eyes on Finn. Finn had sweat stains on every conceivable crevice. The guy </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> needed to pick it up. If he waited any longer to make a move, he might’ve caught fire. Jake kept making faces at him also trying to egg him on. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> slick about it at all, but lucky for all of them, Phoebe was too hungry—or too </span>
  <em>
    <span>high</span>
  </em>
  <span> more like—to notice. Finn tugged on his collar and drummed his fingers on the table. He took a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey—uh—Phoebe?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe scooped a mound of jalapeños on top of another tortilla chip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mind if I take these?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh—yeah! I’m not big on jalaps.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn gave a half-crazed laugh out of the blue, probably from nerves. Even so, Marceline couldn’t help wincing in second-hand embarrassment. Bonnie made a “go on” motion with her hand. He managed to look right at Phobe. He shut his eyes,  mustering up all his courage. Marceline couldn’t believe it. She saw this boy square up against the biggest bullies in his school as a kid, wrestle with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>literal</span>
  </em>
  <span> alligator on his family trip to Florida, and cliff dive at his high school graduation, but asking out </span>
  <em>
    <span>girls </span>
  </em>
  <span>of all things stopped him in his tracks? Well—Marceline could relate actually. Finn cleared his throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phoebe!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice came out surprisingly firm. Phoebe looked up from her nacho massacre and raised her eyebrows at Finn, a chip halfway into her mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When we get to Vegas—I’m going to have my first drink!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right! Your 21</span>
  <span>st</span>
  <span>! That’s awesome!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe clapped him on the back, gobbling up the last of his jalapeños.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you—would you like to have it </span>
  <em>
    <span>with</span>
  </em>
  <span> me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn managed a grin. Phoebe paused. She blinked a few times.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re talking </span>
  <em>
    <span>together,</span>
  </em>
  <span> right? You’re asking to have a drink together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Totally! If you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie’s hand latched around Marceline’s. They both squeezed, holding their breath while waiting for Phoebe to respond. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> watched Finn and Phoebe. Jake and Prismo stopped talking. The entire world stopped. Phoebe spun so she was face-to-face with Finn. She grabbed his shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn, I’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have a drink with you! But all of your drinks are on </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay? And when I say all of them, I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them. I don’t wanna see you pull out your wallet </span>
  <em>
    <span>once</span>
  </em>
  <span> on your birthday, deal?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline could hear the “click” of everyone’s jaws dropping at the same time. Bonnie almost crushed her hand. Jake looked like he was going to blow up into pieces trying to fight back a squeal of excitement. Marceline snuck Finn a quick thumbs-up. Finn got the dopiest look on his face before sitting straight up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, wow! You mean that?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe smiled and elbowed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Duh!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay—okay—yes—</span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Deal!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn pumped his fists near his chest, lacing each word with more and more excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So it’s a—date then!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had it in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>bag</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so Marceline didn’t get why he was asking, but maybe he just wanted to be sure. Phoebe bumped him with her shoulder, half-smiling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You bet,” she said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Awww,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline slouched in her seat, sipping her soda in triumph while Jake squeezed Prismo’s arm, making muffled screams with his mouth closed. Finn and Phoebe looked at each other and giggled. Finn twiddled his thumbs. Phoebe brushed a lock of her hair back. They kept stealing glances at each other’s lips but backed out when they noticed the other staring. Finn turned his hand over, leaving his palm open for her. Phoebe’s fingers crept towards his. Her fingertips were a hair's breadth away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whaddup </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitches</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Took you long enough to get here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP appeared at the table with a bang. Phone camera at the ready, she slid across the table, sweeping up every used sauce wrapper, napkin, and crumb in her path. Once she reached the end, she switched to the front-facing camera.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone say </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vegasss</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They squeezed into the photo. Prismo ducked to fit. Finn slung an arm around Phoebe. Jake gave a big toothy grin. Marceline stuck her tongue out, making the rock on sign with her hand. Bonnie was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> ready for the picture. She realized too late they were taking a picture and stared wide-eyed at LSP’s phone at the last minute with her mouth full. LSP pursed her lips and batted her eyelashes. She snapped the photo. LSP rolled off the table to examine the picture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rad,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Agh! I wasn’t ready!” said Bonnie, throwing her hands out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you cut off my head a little there—” said Prismo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuddup! It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said LSP.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She immediately posted the picture to Instagram. LSP raced around the corner of the table. She smashed herself into the booth with Bonnie and Marceline, crushing Bonnie between them. Bonnie shot LSP a legendary look of scorn while scraping taco sauce off her shirt. LSP ignored her of course and gaped at Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Girl—what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened to your arm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She snatched Marceline’s wrist with the gauze still wrapped around it. Marceline hissed in pain and withdrew it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fell into a ditch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP burst out laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hah! On a </span>
  <em>
    <span>road</span>
  </em>
  <span> trip? You’re so crazy. I like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She scooted closer, crushing Bonnie even more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ex</span>
  <em>
    <span>cuse</span>
  </em>
  <span> me!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP lowered her voice to a whisper—or what was a whisper for </span>
  <em>
    <span>LSP</span>
  </em>
  <span> at least—and eyed the front of the store.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Earl got a free meal after going batshit over his food. Said he was allergic to jalapeños. But you won’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. He said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>was allergic too and got </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine </span>
  </em>
  <span>for free! He’s a total </span>
  <em>
    <span>babe</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I  think he’s into me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I believe it. Did you see how he was staring at your boobs in the van earlier?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP squealed and swatted the table with both hands, knocking Marceline’s basket of leftover lettuce, cheese, and taco meat all over Bonnie’s lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>mind</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I sure don’t, girl. Just eat it off your pants! Was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> staring at my tits?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie made a series of offended, baffled noises while brushing her pants clean with a wad of napkins. LSP again paid no attention. Marceline sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, dude. Those are her favorite joggers,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP huffed and rolled her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span> or whatever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline shrugged at Bonnie who grunted. Both of them figured that was the best they were getting out of LSP, so they let her go on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Also—I think Pepper is totally </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I caught him looking at that kid Braco’s ass when we got out of the van!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>Peps</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Bonnie, “Of course he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His entire wardrobe consists of formal wear, vests, and crop tops, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted the Vampire King to sign both his butt cheeks when he went to that paranormal music festival last year!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline randomly remembered performing herself at the Scream Festival. She had run into the Vampire King backstage. They never got along well, but his story about some crazy kid flinging his pants at him mid-song had her laughing for weeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie nodded. LSP’s mouth dropped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No—freaking—way! Oh—</span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>got</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hook him up with Braco now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP flailed her arms at Prismo who was catching up with Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Prissy! Prissy! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prissaaay</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo blinked. Both he and Jake turned to LSP. Prismo pointed at himself tilting his head in confusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re...talking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said LSP.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s...</span>
  <em>
    <span>Prismo</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That guy you came here with—Braco—is he gay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo scratched the side of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eh—not that I could tell? He talked about this girl he liked in his chem class a little.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP swatted her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Psh! That doesn’t mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He could still be bi!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose so—?” said Prismo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you say he made out with a dude at a frat party once, though?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>supremely</span>
  </em>
  <span> drunk, man,” said Prismo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline raised her hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo—</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t think I was bi while drunkenly making out with girls at parties. But just look at me </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gestured towards Bonnie who laughed. Apparently, that was all the confirmation LSP needed. She leaped from her seat, scouring the Taco Bell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See y’all in Vegas! Mama has some </span>
  <em>
    <span>work</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do. Hey! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>LSP went yelling off in the distance, charging towards a guy with brown hair in a yellow shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Braco! Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Get over here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She disappeared quickly. Lady popped in with a few of the other Volkswagen passengers filing out of the Taco Bell behind her.. After giving Jake a quick kiss on the cheek, she waved to Phoebe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re hitting the road again Phoebe!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phoebe sprung from her seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh cool! Hey, see you guys later, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pointed at Finn and winked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’ll see </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> for that drink when we get there!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sprinted back to the Volkswagen with Lady. Prismo stretched and started making for the exit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should probably get going too. Congrats on that date, Finn!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie stood up, checking her phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should go too, you guys. It’ll be dark in a couple hours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They left the Taco Bell with Jake hooting and hollering behind them. He tossed his arm around Finn’s shoulders and used his other hand to shake his brother in place as they walked towards the van.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at my little bro getting dates and stuff!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn laughed as Jake ruffled up his hair. Marceline spun around grinning at them both with her hands in her pockets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Way to go, dude! You were totally smooth about it. And you got a drinking buddy out of the deal too!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw it was no big,” said Finn, “Kind of. I have a date, guys!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all cheered. Bonnie smiled, pulling out the car keys.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re happy for you, Finn,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she unlocked the car, Jake strode up to the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you’ve been hoggin’ up the wheel enough for this trip! How’s about I take us the rest of the way?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Thank you, Jake!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn slid into the passenger’s seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can switch off!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nuh-uh!” said Jake, wagging a finger as everyone else climbed inside the van, “Birthday boy does no driving on this trip!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After everyone buckled up and got situated, Jake jammed the keys into the ignition.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everybody good? Let’s go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned the keys. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Click click click</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No engine roaring to life. No radio. No lights flickering on the dashboard. Jake’s face froze into a half-smile. He attempted a chuckle, but it mostly came out as a small whimper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heh—uh—here lemme try it again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake twisted the keys in the ignition one more time. More clicking. No lights. The engine sat still as stone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>....probably not good,” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A frustrated scream from Marceline’s left made everyone jump. They turned to Bonnie, who leaned forward and let her head smack against the driver’s seat. Without looking up, Bonnie let her hands fall in her lap in defeat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The battery’s dead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A long moment of silence passed. Bonnie sprang back up, threw her hands to the sky, and roared at the top of her lungs, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>FUCK!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. What else could go wrong?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Their destination is in sight!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick note, I personally headcanon here that Bonnie is a lesbian since to me it was left pretty ambiguous in the show. But, I have no quarrel with anyone who headcanons her as bi! Really, everyone is technically right (apparently it's a huge, vicious debate in the fandom??). But anyway, thanks for all the wonderful comments and support on this story! I read and appreciate every single comment even if I don't have time to reply to them all, so thank you again!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bonnie was having none of it. None. Of. It. She threw open the van door, ignoring the shell-shocked, dumbfounded expressions of all her friends inside, and stormed over to the front of the van. She popped the hood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>! It’s the battery! It’s the goddamn </span>
  <em>
    <span>battery</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>checked</span>
  </em>
  <span> before the </span>
  <em>
    <span>trip</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I swear—that auto shop is </span>
  <em>
    <span>atrocious</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mediocre product, cheap plastic—oh when we get back I’m going to write a review </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> scathing it’ll be read around the </span>
  <em>
    <span>world</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’ll be a cautionary tale for every auto shop that </span>
  <em>
    <span>exists</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie double and triple-checked everything under the hood while she was at it before trying to think of something. That auto shop </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> sketchy. They could’ve snuck her a broken battery or some idiot installed an old one instead. There was absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> way it could’ve died this early on! Bonnie already started outlining the ferocious review/letter to the manager in her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh—it’s cool, Bonnibel! You got jumper cables right?” said Jake, poking his head out the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes—in the back. But we need another car to—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo, Prismo!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She waved at Prismo who was leaning against his car on his phone a few parking spots over. He looked up, raising his eyebrows when he heard her voice. Marcy hopped out of the van and raced towards him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re still here!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Owl’s taking another minute. That last Quesarito went right through him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo made a face and patted his stomach in sympathy. He craned his neck to peek at the immobile van.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything cool over there?” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, man. Our battery died! Mind helping us breathe some life back into her?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure! I’ll just need a sec!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo slipped his phone into his pack pocket before going into the driver’s seat. He pulled out of his space and parked in the spot right next to the van.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’all got jumper cables?” said Prismo as he stepped out of the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn charged towards the front of the van with the jumper cables draped over his shoulders. He used each prong to wave at them all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hang on guys! I appreciate the help, Prismo, but even if we restart the van it’ll just die again as soon as we stop!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy fix! We’ll just go </span>
  <em>
    <span>non</span>
  </em>
  <span>stop until we can find somewhere to buy a battery!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie stared at him, wondering and almost hoping he was kidding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean skip getting gas and bathroom breaks?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake patted the dashboard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We just filled up! And we only got what? Another hour and a half until we get there? It’ll be fine!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But uh—the bathroom breaks might be a problem. We all just had Taco Bell, dude!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’ll just keep driving in circles around the rest stop until everyone’s done! You can jump inside and off we go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll be like that one movie with Steve Carell!” said Prismo, “Ah, what was it called? He was playing a gay guy I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn perked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I remember that movie! Mr. Sunrise!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo stared deadpan at Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That—doesn’t sound right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was the movie? Have I seen it?” said Jake</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie ran her hands over her face. She cupped her hands around her mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>guys</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Let’s focus, please? We’re not seriously going to keep driving continuously for an hour and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>half</span>
  </em>
  <span> are we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Bon. Do we really have any </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> ideas ‘cause I sure don’t,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline put a hand on her hip and surveyed the area. It was all barren save for Taco Bell and a few small businesses. Bonnie doubted any of them had anything resembling a car battery. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope. I don’t either...alright. Fine. Prismo!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo looked at Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fire her up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie swatted a hand, giving him the okay. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My aunt is </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> letting me borrow this again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline gave Bonnie’s shoulders a comforting rub. Finn hooked up the cables to each car while Prismo and Jake sat at the ready. Prismo started his car. The van flickered back to life. Lights. Engine. The familiar roar—albeit weaker than usual. Jake whooped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>aliiiiive</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Thanks, Prismo!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Prismo held a thumbs up before driving off. Everyone piled back inside the van.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nonstop joyride to Vegas! Let’s go!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake dragged them back on the highway. The van groaned and whined, but it stayed alive for the time being. Bonnie sank in her seat. She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from running through all the worst-case scenarios. There were about eight-hundred different ways this could go wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s just hope we don’t run into traffic or break down or make </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> kind of sudden stops </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatsoever</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” said Bonnie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline took her hand and smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll be okay, Bonnie! It’s all part of the fun, right? ” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie’s tension eased a little and she gave Marceline a soft smile back. Jake coasted along the road, weaving between semis and slow-moving trucks. It actually went a lot smoother than Bonnie expected for a while. No traffic. No sudden issues or flat tires. Marceline dove into the snacks and fished out a red lollipop. Finn and Jake continued to ponder over which movie their situation reminded them of. Just when Bonnie was starting to relax, her phone rumbled. Confused, she pulled it out and squinted at the name. She couldn’t make out the words without her glasses. Bonnie put them on and made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat at the sender.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” said Marceline trying to peek over Bonnie’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ricardio</span>
  </em>
  <span> texting me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ewwww, Ricardio?” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t he that major douchewad from your chem class?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie nodded, making a face. She had the misfortune of meeting him in her freshman year where he endlessly hit on her, ignoring her protests about being gay. He labored in the delusion that correcting every single thing she said made him flirty and charming. Instead, it earned him her disdain and pepper spray to the face after trying to kiss her at graduation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! I haven’t talked to him since then. I didn’t even want to talk to him at the </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks like he sent a photo,” said Marcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pointed at the attachment. Bonnie dared to open it up, curiosity getting the best of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is that a—baby’s arm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie couldn’t make it out from the thumbnail so she opened it all the way. It took her precisely two-and-a-half seconds to process it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>AHH</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone jumped as Bonnie yelled and flung her phone away like a live stick of dynamite. She covered her face with both hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh—</span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? What?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s—it’s—his </span>
  <em>
    <span>penis</span>
  </em>
  <span>! That is so—</span>
  <em>
    <span>distasteful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I cannot believe—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline picked up Bonnie’s phone from the floor while she ranted on, and peered at the picture. She collapsed against her seat, cackling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy—shit—it </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> look like a baby’s arm!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw gross,” said Finn, “Let me see!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He snatched the phone from Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> do all of you want to see that? Seriously?” Bonnie said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn grimaced and made an exaggerated gagging sound in the back of his throat. He flipped it around to show Jake who wheezed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ahahahaha! It looks so sad! Plus, he’s barking up the wrong tree anyway, ain’t he, Bonnie?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s barking in the wrong </span>
  <em>
    <span>forest</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In the wrong </span>
  <em>
    <span>continent</span>
  </em>
  <span>! We’re not even on the same </span>
  <em>
    <span>planet</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took her phone back from Finn and promptly deleted the message. She then blocked Ricardio, wondering why she didn’t do so much, </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span> earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’d he even get your number?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We had to do a project together in bio-chem. I forgot to delete him, but I guess he kept </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> number all this time too, lucky me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie massaged her temples, wishing for the power to un-see more than anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You live, you learn. Don’t open pictures from random dudes, dudes. Lesson of the day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had to learn </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> one the hard way too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone stared at him, mouths hanging open. Finn gave Jake a quizzical look. Marceline raised her eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo, Jake—something you wanna tell us?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake shrugged and spread his free hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got a little curious in high school. I ain’t afraid to admit it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Safe to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> never had this problem! I’m so not jealous of you guys. Although I’m in college now so who knows what—oh ooof.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn doubled over clutching his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn? Are you okay?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh-oh,” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wiped away some sweat that started beading on his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shit! It’s the nachos isn’t it?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the right word for it then,” said Marceline, “See any rest stops nearby?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie frantically scrolled through Google maps, hoping for some kind of salvation. She tapped on the screen over and over when she found one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There! In one mile! Hang on, Finn!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake bared his teeth, fingers clamping tight around the wheel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t stop, remember? Be fast! I’ll be driving in circles nearby!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake flipped on the headlights and swerved into the next lane. Other drivers beeped their horns, gesturing at him furiously. He ignored them. Finn groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re almost there Finn!” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone outta the way! Move it!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He honked his own horn, performing several more death-defying maneuvers to gain speed. He pulled into the rest stop Bonnie found. After slowing the van to a crawl, he waved them all out. Finn all but hurled himself headfirst out of the car and made a beeline for the restrooms. Jake motioned towards him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You gals go with him! Everyone go while we’re here!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, dude?” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah! I’m good! I’ve got a steel belly!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake pounded his stomach for emphasis. Bonnie and Marceline hopped out of the van after Finn. He had long since disappeared inside. Jake drove off, keeping the van close by in steady circles as promised. They made it to the restrooms and did their business. Finn unsurprisingly needed some more time, so Bonnie and Marceline hung around the entrance. Marceline checked her phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw man!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline flipped her phone around, revealing a picture LSP took of herself in front of the Paris hotel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They beat us! Ugh—now LSP will never let me hear the end of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie blew air between her cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Considering everything that’s happened? I’ll just be glad to get there at </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Besides, that means </span>
  <em>
    <span>we’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> almost there too, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s true.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline flashed a peace sign as she also took a picture of herself and sent it to LSP.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In front of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>bathroom</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Bonnie tilting her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. You’d be surprised where LSP sends </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> stuff from. One time I got one from her while she was standing in front of a guy who was </span>
  <em>
    <span>butt</span>
  </em>
  <span> naked. Guess she was having a </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> good night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie scrunched up her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuck. It’s bad enough I got all these unnecessary details about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jake’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> sex life on this trip. We don’t need to add </span>
  <em>
    <span>LSP</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the mix.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know—I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally</span>
  </em>
  <span> sure if she was having sex with that dude or not,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie opened her mouth and closed it again. She blinked rapidly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha—what </span>
  <em>
    <span>else</span>
  </em>
  <span> would she be </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> with a random gentleman in the nude?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trust me, Bon. It’s better when I don’t ask.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both laughed. Marceline held her phone back up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stupid rest stop photo op with me?” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie rolled her eyes and snorted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline slung her arm around Bonnie and kissed her on the cheek as she snapped the picture. She showed Bonnie the final result, grinning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww…that’s a cute one,” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah! I’m saving </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She slipped her phone back into her pocket. Jake drove by whooping like a madman. He even managed a few donuts in the bulky van. Bonnie was too impressed to even yell at him. Everyone else waiting in the parking lot watched him as if he just escaped from the zoo. Bonnie picked up an audible “what the fuck?” from one of the teenagers in the distance and giggled. Marceline must’ve heard it too because she also started laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone must think we’re a bunch of whackos. We jumped </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span> of that thing,” said Bonnie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least he’s having fun!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned back to the building and squinted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeesh. Did he fall in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should we check on him?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right after she spoke, they heard wild, rapid footsteps as someone tramped through the dirt. Finn jetted from the building like a bat out of hell. He flailed his arms in every direction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy balls! Balls! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Run</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he shrieked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline made fists. Bonnie braced herself, now on high alert. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” she shouted back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rabid dog! Rabid dog! Get the heck out of here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vicious snarling and growls echoed from around the corner of the building. Marceline went pale. Bonnie couldn’t believe her ears, but Finn didn’t sound like he was kidding. Sure enough, a ragged dog emerged hot on Finn’s heels. Foam dribbled down its mouth while it showed its yellow teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> that!” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grabbed Bonnie and they sprinted in time with Finn. They chased down the van while screaming at everyone in the parking lot to get out. People poured back into their cars, burning rubber to get out of there. Jake coasted by through the dirt several feet away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jake</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” they all roared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake moved his head around and squinted in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell’s going on over there? The toilet try to eat ya’ or somethin’?” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Open the door!” they all screamed again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake poked his head out the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he spotted the dog and Bonnie swore she saw all his hairs stand on end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“AHHH! Get in! Get in!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flopped over the driver’s seat, yanking the sliding door open. Finn threw himself inside. He got his head and upper torso on the floor of the van but struggled with his legs. The dog’s barking went savage. It increased in volume and resembled the sound of a twelve-ton beast.  The sound of paws on dirt grew closer and closer. Bonnie pushed her body to the limit, letting the adrenaline take over. Finn slid the rest of the way in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on guys!” said Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> did a rabid dog get all the way out </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Jake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn held his hand out to Marceline who was the closest. Marceline missed it by inches. Finn adjusted, holding his hand out farther. Marcy grabbed it. He dragged her inside and they both held their arms out to Bonnie. The dog howled. Bonnie shrieked. Finn, Marceline, and Jake all squealed at different volumes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jump, Bonnie! He’s right there!” said Finn, his voice reaching a hysterical pitch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Didn’t Bonnie know it. She felt the dog’s breath. One misstep and it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>rabies</span>
  </em>
  <span> for her! With all the strength she had, Bonnie bolted and sprung from the ground. She prayed she didn’t miscalculate or she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> screwed. Thankfully, Finn and Marceline caught her. The dog snapped at her, missing her ankle by a hairsbreadth. They hoisted Bonnie inside with seconds to spare. Finn slammed the door closed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Floor it!” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jake stomped on the gas. The van rolled back out on the highway and left the rabid dog in the dust. Jake spun around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn, Bonnie, and Marceline all clung to each other on the floor of the van, panting. Finn gave him a salute.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We made it! Barely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He separated from Bonnie and Marcy and deflated against one of the seats, arm flopped back next to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn, did he get you at all?” said Bonnie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! He </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> missed me though. I walked out and he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> there! It was crazy! He totally came outta nowhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you, Marcy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marceline didn’t move. She also didn’t let go of Bonnie, clasping her from behind while still catching her breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonna—need another minute,” said Marceline.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie clung to Marcy’s hands and sighed. She was pretty shaken up herself. Marceline rested her head on Bonnie’s shoulder. She stretched her arm out to Finn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get back in here, dude. We all almost died!” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn didn’t need to be told twice. He scooted back over and wrapped his arms around the both of them. Bonnie held them tighter, just now realizing how much she needed it. Jake dangled off the steering wheel. He rested a hand on his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay! No more near-death experiences allowed until we get to the hotel! You hear me?” said Jake, “Y’all are gonna gimme a heart attack!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A long pause. They all looked at each other. Then just like that, Marceline burst out laughing—</span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It sounded half-crazed, practically hysterical, but it only took a couple of seconds before everyone else in the car joined her. Bonnie leaned into her for support as they both wheezed. Finn slipped away from them and draped over the seats hollering. Jake pounded his fist on the steering wheel, wiping tears away. They lost it. Just like that, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>lost it. Every single one of them. They didn’t know what else to do, really. After some more guffaws with scream-laughs sprinkled in, they finally settled down. Still letting out a few stray giggles, Finn crawled back to the passenger seat. Jake hugged him with one arm and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. Marceline rested her head against the seats.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whew. I second that, by the way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie kissed her on the nose. Marceline gave her one last squeeze before they separated and returned to their spots. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Finn, you should at least wait ‘til </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> your 21</span>
  <span>st</span>
  <span> birthday party to get eaten,” said Marcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I guess so. At least my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo, guys! Look!” said Jake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn perked up. Bonnie and Marceline stretched against the windows to get a better look at what Jake pointed at. In the distance were dozens of twinkling lights, flashing signs, lit-up water fountain displays, and a line of cars waiting to get inside. The skyline of Las Vegas, Nevada. They were even greeted by the iconic diamond sign, glowing like a heavenly beacon. Everyone in the car began clapping and cheering. Finn punched the ceiling. Bonnie and Marcy shared another kiss. Jake spread his hands as if praising the gods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re here!” he said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now all they had to do was survive </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vegas</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
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